Liver and Onions.

I first prepared this meal or the sole reason of sinking my teeth into a vital organ of a lesser mammal.

In order to commence your personal attempt to assert your superiority to the lesser creatures, you must have in your custody these items:

¼ lb Liver (Beef is good. Pork will do fine. The snotty brat who lives next door is perfect.)

1 Tbsp Flour (It's that white powder in bags in the baking aisle of grocery stores. Go buy some.)

Seasonings (Coffee grounds. Pepper. Use your fucking brain.)

1-2 slices Bacon (For the grease. Stop cringing, you git.)

½ cup Rice (Rice. NOT 'Instant.' I rigged every box in your favorite store with explosives.)

¼ cup Onion, diced (The only acceptable time for you to cry - EVER - will be when you first cut the onion, you pussy.)

While the rice is steaming, combine the seasonings with the flour, and flour the liver. Pan-fry the bacon. Recoat and pan-fry the liver on low heat. Feel free to add what floury dregs there may be. Your liver will be cooked once it loses its lively colour inside and the outside begins to darken. Carmelize the onions in the remainders of the bacon grease. (Add more lard if there is not enough.)

Serve with onions mixed with rice or on top of rice and liver, and a pint of Guinness.

Recipes.

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